The Diary of A Scientologist

The Diary of A Scientologist

Сообщение auditor » 09 окт 2017, 16:08

When I was young and searching for better control of my own life, I read a book by L. Ron Hubbard who was the founder of the Church of Scientology. I began to study his philosophy at the church in New York in 1976. My involvement in the church resulted in the 2005 closing of a mission the church operated in Elizabeth, New Jersey.

My name is Lawrence Toomajan. I was born in Elizabeth, New Jersey in 1959, the youngest in a family of four children. My father's poor family planning led to chronic financial struggles as my mother was an unemployed housewife. I went to seven different schools because my family moved six times before I finished high school. I was blamed by my parents, my brother and my two sisters for our family's problems. Consequently, I was neglected, abused, mistreated, beaten and I became unhappy growing up this way. I knew something needed to change.
In 1976, at 16, I read Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard and was convinced my search for an answer to our problems was over after reading this book. I wrote to the Church of Scientology of New York and was written back, telephoned and invited to the church. So, I went there secretly one morning.
In Scientology auditing is the name of the type of counseling the church delivers and an auditor is the person that is trained there to deliver the auditing. In Scientology a person's souls or spirit is called a Thetan. Auditing is done to rehabilitate a thetan's spiritual awareness and abilities.
I spoke to a girl at the church named Debbie Kagan Ward Murray who was a registrar (or person that sells Scientology services to the public). She worked for the church weekdays and introduced me to other church staff and public there. I was given some written tests, a personality profile quiz, other things to read, something to eat and an interview on an e-meter. The end result of the day was an estimate for 285 hours of auditing for about $30,000.00. The staff said this auditing will erase the source of my uncertainties in life forever and give me new abilities. I took this estimate home to my parents and they told me they could not afford it.
A week later Debbie came to our house and put $10 of her money in an account for me at the church for a course called the Communications Course, which is an introductory course that teaches better communication skills. She told me to come in and start the course as soon as I could so, I went back with $10 and repaid her the next week and started the course. After 3 days, I was taken off the course by a church ethics officer named Sally Allerdice and told I could not be there without a parent or guardian.
In Scientology Sea Org members are people who live and work in the church full time 7 days a week, 365 days a year in exchange for their room and board. They sign lifetime employment contracts.
After Sally sent me home, my parents and I were asked into the church to a meeting by two Sea Org (or SO) members. At the meeting we all agreed I should wait until I was 18 to do the course and then come back and see Sally again before I started.
In 1977, I finished school and turned 18 so, I called the church and made an appointment with Sally. I got there mid-morning on a Thursday and was told she's not there by two people named Cathy MacMurray Ondreicka and Susan Christie Davis (a registrar and a treasurer in that order), that worked for the church evenings and weekends.
I want to point out that staff who work weekdays are called Day (or D) staff. Staff who work evenings and weekends are called Foundation (or FDN) staff. D and FDN staff are two fiscally and politically separate church groups that only share the same building.
Susan told me I didn't need to see Sally to go back to course. She took the illegally acquired Day account file under my name from when I was a minor and re-filed it in to the FDN account files so that she and Cathy would get credit for getting a new person in, signed up and on course, that someone else had already done. Cathy took me to the course room to the course and this is how I got in to Scientology.
Cathy's husband Tom Ondreicka was a NY FDN staff member and so was Susan's husband Frank Davis. Frank committed suicide in 2013. Tom left the church and his ex-wife Cathy joined the Sea Org. But, while she was in the Sea Org she was sent to an internal church prison for Sea Org members called the "Hole" in Hemet, California as punishment by Scientology leader David Miscavige.
I liked the course and received the "Upstat Student of the Week" award. Toward the end of the course the course supervisor began pressuring me to study faster to graduate sooner. I didn't like that because I was learning something new that I had not encountered before. At the same time, church staff began pressuring me to join staff at the church and also to join the Sea Org. I finished the course and accepted a job at the NY FDN as an Expediter (someone that helps anywhere needed until permanently placed). I did additional basic staff training, read more Scientology books and was set-up for Drug Rundown auditing. I was paid about $4.85 a week for over 40 hours a week. My staff supervisor was a man named Bob Cucarullo that used an oversized discarded ripped US Confederate flag as curtains for the window in our office.
In summer 2001, I saw Bob in New York at 72nd St. & Broadway. We stopped and talked and he said he left Scientology in 1981.
Many church staff worked under the table outside the church to supplement their incomes. The Executive Director (or ED) which is the church boss at the NY FDN was a man named Raymond Baiardi that had an off the books pillow making company in a loft on West 17th St. He rented the loft and other Scientologists worked there. His partner was a man named Marcel Femine who was a NY FDN student with his wife Lucille Femine. I was offered a job there. I found a legal part-time job at a Scientologist's furniture manufacturing plant called Loftcraft on W. 20th St. instead through the help of a fellow staff member at the church. I worked in the office there on weekdays and at the church evenings and weekends. Loftcraft was owned by Randolph Parsons (a NY FDN student). His wife Isabelle Szuldiner Falcaro Parsons (a NY FDN auditor) and 2 other Scientologists (George Goodrich and his wife Dina) helped manage Loftcraft.
Per L. Ron Hubbard written policy, anyone with a terminal illness may not be audited, trained or on staff anywhere in Scientology. Randolph had leukemia and died from it while still an active church member. He was allowed on church services in spite of what L. Ron Hubbard said because he had a large sum of money in the bank to possibly donate to the church.
My Loftcraft supervisor was Marcia Valente Cruz (a NY FDN student). She told me about employees at Loftcraft that were Scientologists and ones that were not. She asked me to use discretion when talking to the ones that were not. This is a strange practice at the church as well. More than once, people came in the church unhappy about the services they got there or asking for refunds of their money. These people were all treated rudely by the church staff and even ignored and made to stand around like fools unattended. I asked innocently once about a guy that came in that was complaining and I was told to "ignore him, he is a fucking asshole".
The City of New York cited Loftcraft for 65 building safety code violations. Just before city inspectors returned to check on the progress being made correcting certain of the violations, Isabelle asked me to go around the entire building (several floors) and remove any item in sight that is related to Scientology in any way. A large heavy wall mounted "Org Board" that showed the names of all the staff and their jobs at Loftcraft fell on me while being removed from a wall in the main office area. A large screw protruding from it gashed my arm. Not one person at Loftcraft even offered me as much as a Band-Aid for the inch-long deep bleeding gash. Marcia told me "Get your fucking TR's in!"
In Scientology TR's stands for Training Routines, which are drills a person does on the Communications Course (the first course I did in Scientology) that teaches communication skills. So, by her saying this, she meant I didn't know how to communicate to her properly about my injury.
I used clean toilet paper from the bathroom held in place with scotch tape to dress the wound and then cared for it further when I got home. I still have a scar on my arm from that injury that can be seen today. I should have billed any treatment for this injury to Loftcraft under the Worker's Compensation law, but I didn't. Scientologists are not supposed to file legal papers like this against each other. Everything is expected to be resloved within the church.
Loftcraft eventually became bankrupt, but just before that happened Isabelle fired me for being PTS and said I should go to the church and get some help with my problems.
PTS in Scientology stands for Potential Trouble Source and refers to someone who is connected to an SP. An SP in Scientology stands for Suppressive Person and refers to someone Scientologists view as antagonistic to their religious beliefs. Loftcraft then went bankrupt and the Parson's and the Goodrich's both moved to Los Angeles and opened a diner called New York George's on Fountain Ave. across the street from the main Scientology complex.
After my separation from Loftcraft, Bob Cucarullo asked me to see a NY FDN Ethics Officer (or EO) named Nancy Levin (that also worked at Loftcraft). Nancy told me I was not going to work out as staff for a group of reasons she recited. The Guardian Office (or GO) was the church's former public relations defense office and Nancy said I had to petition to them in writing for permission to continue in Scientology. I was taken off my post and course at the church by her to petition.
At this writiing Nancy, works with her husband Neil Levin (a former NY FDN course supervisor) at Scientology's International Headquarters in Hemet, California called INT Base which is composed of all Sea Org members.
It was a degrading experience to petition because I did not believe I was a bad person as she said and I didn't feel like one either. To avoid losing any progress I already made in the church, I wrote a petition to the GO stating in some way that I was not worthy of being a Scientologist and asked for permission to be one. I sent the petition to the NY Assistant Guardian (or AG) a guy named Antros Savas and then waited for his response.
Raymond Baiardi (NY FDN ED or guy in-charge) sent me to a Scientology mission downtown on 6th Avenue in Greenwich Village to work while my petition was under review. The mission was run by Mr. & Mrs. Howard and Mary Rower. I wrote letters, handed out literature, worked with students, typed and ran errands.
During a visit to the church to see about my petition, Debbie Kagan Ward Murray (who now worked for the GO with her husband Pat Ward) asked me to work for her in the GO part-time. I agreed and had to sign a $10,000.00 bond that if I disclosed my activities in the GO to anyone I must pay the GO $10,000.00.
In the GO I listened with headphones attached to a tape recorder to recordings the church had made secretly of people church staff and others had conversations with on the phone. I typed the conversations into written transcripts. A government official that refused to grant the church a permit required to open a new Narconon is an example of the kind of target or victim tape recorded. The GO staff used the documents against people to bully, intimidate, harass and frighten them into giving the church what it wanted. The victims upon realizing they were recorded without their knowledge would become confused regarding what else the church might know about them and possibly give in to the church's demands.
The FBI raided churches of Scientology in Los Angeles and Washington DC on the morning of July 8, 1977 and confiscated books, records and materials. Church staff were arrested and later tried and sent to prison including church Founder L. Ron Hubbard's wife Mary Sue Hubbard. The raids uncovered evidence documenting crimes the GO perpetrated world wide. One victim a woman named Paulette Cooper, was arrested by the FBI and charged with making bomb threats against the church. After her arrest, the FBI found proof among the church's files it seized during the raids, that showed the church wrote and mailed fake bomb threats to itself on stationary stolen from Paulette's apartment that had her fingerprints on it to frame her for the crime. This was in retaliation for a news article she wrote about the church. Paulette sued the church for $25 million dollars with the FBI's evidence and the church settled out of court with her in 1985.
Looking back on one afternoon in 1978 in the GO, the reception lobby was full of girls seated or standing. Another girl came out of a side office door. She showed us her shoes and said "And, they're in style too!" The others girls said "Hi Paulette!", "Hey Paulette!", "Oh, Paulette!" waving and laughing. I thought it was odd so many girls were called Paulette but I just went back to my desk to work without saying anything about it.
I had never read any of Paulette's work or even heard of her until 2002.
After reading Paulette's story, I realized that the girl who came out of the side office door in the GO was Paulette Cooper's body double the church employed to run around New York impersonating her. This was so that people could report to Paulette and others that they had seen Paulette somewhere doing something and she would think she was going crazy knowing it could not have been her. Looking at pictures of Paulette available today from that period in time and comparing them to the appearance of the body double I met, it is evident to me that physically the church selected an accurate body double. I did not have a clue this was going on at the time or that anything like it would even be going on there.
In summer 1978, the NY GO organized a protest of the FBI that consisted of busloads of Scientologists (over 200), traveling from NY to Washington DC to picket on the sidewalks outside of the FBI building. The trip was paid for by Howard and Mary Rower at whose mission on 6th Ave. I worked part time. I was free to travel so I was made to go. The protest was televised on national news.
Meanwhile elsewhere in town, the Rower's sponsored a GO fund raiser at their Hudson Street loft. A Scientologist named Arte Maren that was just released from jail following his arrest during the FBI raids was a guest speaker at the event.
If I wasn't busy at the mission or the GO, I was allowed by Neil Levin and Mike Spallino (the course supervisors) to word clear students in the Academy (the church's course rooms). I was never trained as a word clearer and the materials I word cleared people on I had either never heard of before and/or they were levels above my own training and auditing levels. People came in the church and bought training and auditing at full prices. The ones that bought training were word cleared by people like me as the church had a shortage of word clearers to help get people through their training and on to their next paid levels. A person such as this could then be used to "professionally" audit other people that came in the church and bought auditing at full price because the church had a shortage of auditors too.
I worked part time this way at the mission, the GO and the church while waiting to hear back on my petition.
I never heard back on my petition to the GO and Bob Cucarullo said it had to be re-submitted. I became suspicious so, I petitioned L. Ron Hubbard (founder of the church) instead. I did not get a response from him either even after one month, so I wrote him to inquire about it and asked him to please send his response to my home address instead of the church. I heard back from him within 10 days. He stated, he had already approved my petition and sent it back to me weeks before at the church and was concerned that I never received it. He sent me a copy of it and said to make the most of the good news and wished me luck.
I later learned that my original petition to the GO that I never heard back on and the letter L. Ron Hubbard said he sent me that I never received were both stolen by the NY FDN ED Raymond Baiardi (the guy that employed church staff at his off the books pillow making business on West 17th St.).
I saw Sally Allerdice (my original EO) many times during these months and she never once brought up my being there without having seen her first as she had ordered me to do before I came back to course.
In 1978, I landed a great job in New York with a fashion designer that was not a Scientologist and I stopped working at the church, the mission and the GO. One of the mission staff named David Simon started screaming at me about how sick and tired he was of me when he found out I was done working there.
ASHO stands for the American Saint Hill Organization which is a more advanced type of Scientology church staffed by Sea Org members. As opposed to the church in New York which is staffed by public people that sign 2 to 5 year contracts.
I always wanted to be a more ethical person. It is what drew me to Scientology. I bought a course called the Hubbard Personal Ethics and Integrity Course from ASHO FDN in Los Angeles. In the process of making arrangements to get a job and a place to stay while I trained at ASHO evenings and weekends, I was convinced by church staff to join the SO in LA. I left my job in New York and went to LA to be in SO.
I worked in a church management office called a FOLO (which stands for Flag Operations Liaison Office). Everyone in the Sea Org worked, ate, got paid, trained and got audited at the church. I slept in a room with other male Sea Org members in a rundown building called the Hollywood Inn. I did not have a car so it was necessary to make my own arrangements to get to and from the church for everything. I walked a couple of times. I don't recall that there was a shuttle van or bus. The food was rationed, unhealthy and some of it was made from bags filled with white powder that was mixed with water. So, I ate my meals at places outside the church with my own money. I was given manual labor to do almost all the time. Tearing up rugs at the church's Celebrity Center church in LA, cleaning floors, cleaning kitchens, etc. I got 1 day off every 13 days based on my level of production. I got no training and a just bit of auditing. For the weeks I was in Sea Org I was not paid anything ever. My boss Grace Brown, was paid $1.50 a week.
Here is an example of the kind of work that needed to be done. I was asked to mop a 1,400 square foot linoleum floor area at the church. The church didn't have detergent or bleach and was not supplying money for any. The mop given to me was the dirtiest mop imaginable. I used it to mop the floor using just plain water. Staff were walking around on the floor the whole time it was being cleaned. The floor did not come clean. I asked Grace Brown for a better solution and she said "Try using warmer water" and told me her senior was complaining to her about me leaving the floor like that.
I could not persuade Grace to let me do the Hubbard Personal Ethics and Integrity course I paid for at ASHO FDN next door, while she was trying to figure out where I would be permanently posted. She told me to go to ASHO FDN and use the money in my account there to buy an e-meter and books instead to prepare me for Flag. Flag is the largest Church of Scientology in the world, located in Clearwater, Florida. It is staffed by all Sea Org members. She said I was going to be sent there to be trained as an auditor and that this is where I would be posted. I felt like I was making a mistake listening to her because I was not qualified per church policy to buy, use or even own an e-meter yet. I went next door and was able to buy one from the church's bookstore without any questions asked.
I decided the Sea Org was just not for me. I also needed a break and not just every 13 days on good behavior. I went roller skating instead of going to a staff meeting one night. The next day I was dismissed from the Sea Org on sight when I came back and handed a "3-feet-long" qualifications program of auditing and training to do to get back in the Sea Org. I donated the books I bought there to the church because they were too heavy to carry in my luggage. I brought the e-meter home with me back to New Jersey.
Flag is the name of a Sea Org staffed Church of Scientology located in Clearwater, Florida. It is the only church in the world that offers all Dianetics and Scientology services in one place.
Once home, I went to see the Flag Service Consultant (or FSC) at the church in New York to discuss doing my SO qualifications program at Flag. When I got to the FSC office there was a Sea Org woman sitting in there. I introduced myself, sat down and originated to her that I wanted to go to Flag from now on to do all of my church services. Although she did communicate with me minimally, she refused to tell me her name. She would not open an account for me, even though the church accepts donations of any size from anyone. And she would not give me any additional information about other Flag services to take home to read to learn more. She suddenly said to me point blank truly annoyed "Look. I'm really busy and I don't have time for this, OK?" She didn't ask me to come back and see her at a later time when she might not be so busy. The church was deserted that night and not one person was waiting to see her after me. I left her office at the time the church was closing up for the night. She just left me hanging to draw my own conclusion of what took place.
Her name was Kitti Georgius Kahn. I did not learn her name from her as I said. There was an event at the church in New York about 6 months later that she was the emcee of and she introduced herself to the audience. I was in the audience and this is how I learned her name after speaking to her 6 months earlier.
In 1979, when I was 19, I got a letter from a NY FDN EO named Alma Jamieson, to come to the church and discuss with her my departure from the church. I wound up writing up Overts and Withholds (or O/W's) which refers to harmful acts that one has done in life that may be unreported to anyone as of yet. I then turned these write-ups in to the EO to review. I was seen by her and other EO's in rotation over a period of weeks, one replacing the other. I came in for a few hours a day each weekend for a few months during the spring and summer and wrote up all the O/W's I had and turned them in to the EO's. It did not take me months to complete because I had thousands of hidden crimes to report. It took me as long as it did because I had never done a confession in this manner and was unsure of myself before gaining this experience in it. When I was done writing up O/W's I attested at the examiner that I had finished. I felt like a pretty clean and ethical guy afterwards.
Many Scientologists like to entertain the idea that they are joining the Sea Org one day for the duration of their careers as Scientologists but they never do join. In the middle of when I was doing my O/W write-ups in June of 1979, L. Ron Hubbard, released a new church policy. It stated that anyone who has ever taken LSD or Angel Dust may no longer join the Sea Org. Those people may only get auditing, training or be on staff at a church or mission if they qualify. When I was in high school I used LSD about 5 times. So, for me this new policy really worked. I was already sick and tired of being asked to join the Sea Org or be on staff when I had already answered 15 times that I didn't want to, because I did not think it was for me. I was happy my only real true option now in Scientology was to remain public.
An EO named Anna Balash then took over. She stated there was a special ethics program I had to do with her because her review of my O/W write-ups had uncovered new out-qualifications I had for being in Scientology. These are the new out-qualifications she says she found:
LEAVING SCIENTOLOGY: I was temporary staff waiting for placement. I never was officially on contract anywhere. So, this is a lie.
SUPPRESSIVE GROUP MEMBERSHIP: I wrote a letter to the Church of Satan of San Francisco, California once because I had a question about their religion. They wrote me back with an answer and put me on their mailing list. Anna said exchanging letters with them constitutes membership in the group. Another lie.
ATTEMPTED SUICIDE: I smoked marijuana once and took a gun my father owned to a park and was playing with it and it went off. I told Anna "I'm lucky I didn't kill myself". She said "That constitutes attempted suicide and drug usage". L. Ron Hubbard wrote that anyone that has ever attempted suicide may not be trained, audited or on staff at any church ever. There is no petition or workaround to this. Another lie.
PROMISCUITY: I had sex with many different partners when I was younger. Anna said this kind of sexual conduct is not allowed in Scientology.
CANCELLED PETITION: An approved petition from L. Ron Hubbard was sent by him, by mail, to me, at home and not shared by me with anyone at the church. How would she know about this unless she saw the letter L. Ron Hubbard said he sent me at the church that I never received? The one that Raymond Baiardi stole. Anna said the petition from L Ron Hubbard is cancelled. Another lie.
I was in awe. Why did she think I would believe all of these lies for instead of the truth and be willing to pay her for it? According to Anna, I had to be approved by the Guardian Office not L. Ron Hubbard in order to be allowed to continue in Scientology and this costs money.
This is the special ethics program she created for me:
A complete life history write-up (not just O/W's, but every person and group I have ever been associated with in any way such as the names of schools I went to and teachers, friends that I had etc. etc.)
A notarized affidavit acknowledging the fact of each out-qualification
A notarized affidavit assigning the church zero liability for this program
A GO World Wide Form 5 Green Form Security Check (in blocks of 12½ hours at full current donation rates)
A new petition to the GO
When done, everything would be sent to the GO as a package for approval that would take as long as it takes and cost as much as it costs to get approved.
Rather than argue with her, my only desire was to leave in a civil manner. We went to the registrar to start payment for the security check part of the program. The registrar was Raymond Baiardi (the former church ED). He acted excited I was finally going to be getting some services and wanted just $2,400. I gave him $22 and got a receipt from him for it and did not go back and give him any more money again ever.
In 1982, Howard Rower was declared a Suppressive Person and expelled from Scientology. The Rower mission was closed for good. I stayed good friends and in communication with him until he died in 2000. His wife Mary died in 2011.
In 1983 the GO was disbanded and replaced by a new group called OSA which stands for the Office of Special Affairs.
In 1985 I lived in New York and up until that time there were periods when I received 20 or more letters a week from Scientology churches everywhere asking me for money for something (books, training, auditing, taped lectures, e-meters etc.) A NY Day Treasurer named Joan Woods called me to say I had a Freeloader's Debt of $1,100 she was required to collect from me. A Freeloader's Debt is a bill that is issued to a Scientologist for all auditing and training services received for free or at a discount while on staff if their staff contract is ever broken. I had to remind her somehow that I was never even on a staff contract, so what was the big idea? My buddy who was with me when I received the call and was familiar them got on the phone and told her if she calls again the police will be called. We never heard back from her or any type of collection agency.
Последний раз редактировалось auditor 09 окт 2017, 16:16, всего редактировалось 2 раз(а).
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The Diary of A Scientologist part 2

Сообщение auditor » 09 окт 2017, 16:09

In June 1986 when I was 26 years old, I moved to Clearwater, Florida where I lived and worked for 3 years. I got situated with a place to live and a job and I went to Flag for the first time. My registrar was a man named Christian that I bought training from before signing up for intern auditing. I was at Flag every day for months training, running errands for the staff and writing letters for them. While I was there I saw Sally Allerdice, an EO from New York that now worked at Flag and Anna Balash, another EO from New York that was there on services. I saw Kitti Georgius Kahn. She worked at Flag and was only temporarily assigned to be the Flag Service Consultant for New York when I first met her.
In Scientology OT 8 stands for Operating Thetan 8. At this writing OT 8 is the highest level of spiritual counseling available at the church. Class 6 refers to the level of training an auditor has done and Class 12 is currently the highest level of auditor training available in Scientology.
A saw a man at Flag named Bruce Dobin (OT 8, Class 6). His brother Bart Dobin, was supervisor of the NY FDN Communications Course (the first course I did in Scientology). Bruce was near the course room to see his brother. I had never had any contact with Bruce but saw him at the church in New York once or twice.
While I was around Flag, I stumbled upon Kitti Georgius Kahn on Pierce Street in back of the church by herself one afternoon. She burst out laughing at me as I passed by and then walked off. She was saying to people in public, out loud, so that I could overhear her saying to them about me "That guy's a queer!" "I'm afraid of him!" "That's the guy, that's him, that one!" "He's on his way to a security check!" "He became homosexual?" "The C/S is very aware of him!" and other things.
In Scientology, a Case Supervisor (or C/S) is a person that instructs an auditor what to audit on a person being audited. A C/S is therefore more highly trained than an auditor. A Class 6 C/S may supervise the actions of no higher than a Class 6 auditor.
Kitti was aided in her nasty remarks about me by a man, a Flag Class 9 C/S named Mark Campbell. I had never had any contact with him but had seen him in the area where a lot of auditing was going on because it was located right outside the course room I was training in. Someone else told me his name. He was among other things making degraded sexual remarks about me in public to people out loud so that I could overhear, just like Kitti does.
I went to run an errand for one of the staff in the registrar's office where I was helping out one afternoon at Flag. I left some personal things that belonged to me near the desk of one of the registrar's there named Paul Miller while I ran the errand. There was a personal notebook there with notes in it that belonged to me, containing job leads in the area, phone numbers, personal reference notes, names, a letter from my parents at home who were concerned about me. All personal items. When I returned from the errand my things were gone. A Sea Org member told me to check the church's lost and found at the security office in the Flag garage when I reported I could not find my things to one of the staff. The security officer in the garage said nobody had turned my things in to them. Kitti Georgius Kahn about a week later began reciting out loud in public so that I could again overhear but this time the personal notes I wrote only in the notebook I had that was among the items stolen.
I lived only a few minutes' walking distance from Flag for 3 years. But, I was not written to, visited or phoned once by anyone from Flag the whole time I was there. Yet, when the closest church to me in New Jersey was 17 miles away, the church sent me upwards of sometimes 20 or more letters a week in addition to calling me from as far away as California and Florida.
After a few months at Flag, I decided to stop going there. I thought it might be a good idea if they gave me my money back as well. They could not; according to their policy, honor my request, because I had waited more than 30 days after my last donation to ask for a refund. One afternoon I just calmly walked out the front door. I quit communicating with them to avoid problems and never went back.
After I stopped going to Flag, I was told I'm no longer welcome in Boston Ronnie's (a former Scientologist owned diner in Clearwater) that I went to for breakfast sometimes where 2 of my neighbors that were not Scientologists (Christine and Thomas) worked. I was even walking past there about a week after they told me I was not welcome there any more, and the owner approached me on the sidewalk and pushed his finger into my chest and said "Hey! You don't like us Scientologists do you?"
A man who was a Flag public Scientologist named Philip Seiflein approached me on the sidewalk with his friend as we passed each other. He punched me in the stomach and told me I make him nervous. He and his friend just laughed at me and walked away. A Flag course supervisor was standing nearby watching. I went right up to both of them and said if they don't apologize I'm going to make trouble. Philip apologized for the both of them in disbelief of himself.
An angry motorist, got out of his car and chased a Flag public guy up the street and then punched him in the head and face in the front doors of the Fort Harrison right in front of me and then got back in his car and drove off. The Fort Harrison is the main hotel at Flag where visiting parishioners stay. I assumed without actually knowing that perhaps the Scientologist had done something to the motorist to incite this violence.
I was crossing a street and a Scientologist (a guy) walked into me in a very violent manner deliberately. When I say a very violent manner, I want to qualify that, I mean in a very violent disturbed fashion. I stopped, turned around and asked him if it was necessary that he did that. He said: "What did you do that made me do that to you?"
I was at the Park Diner that used to be on South Fort Harrison Ave. in Clearwater and saw a neighbor of mine named Christine inside and we sat down and had lunch together. She told me she no longer works at Boston Ronnie's Diner where I was told I was not welcome because the people there are fanatics trying to get her to join the church. Suddenly, a man in a Sea Org uniform came to our table. He asked "Did one of you just say something bad about Scientology?" He said he overheard us and was seated with other church members a few booths behind us. He would not leave us alone until we asked him at least 3 times to do so.
A student from Flag came in to a health food store I was in and screamed at the girl behind the counter "You're going to pay for and get on your next church service NOW!" on the top of his lungs. And when I say on the top of his lungs I mean on the top of his lungs from 2 to 3 feet away from the girl's face. The girl was visibly shocked. The owner of the store asked the guy to leave and before he did the guy said he was following an L. Ron Hubbard training drill.
I was walking home one night on Drew Street and a car heading west sped past me at about 70 miles per hour and hit a car being driven by a Scientologist named Bill Bragg that had tried to beat the speeder to the intersection by racing across it in the speeder's path before he got there. The condition of both cars afterwards was severely damaged. I called the police from the pay phone at the cleaners nearby because I was startled to have seen this. I had to go to court as a witness for the police because the police issued both of them summonses finding both of them at fault. The speeder showed up, but the Scientologist Bill Bragg did not.
These may seem like insignificant observations to some people. Excluding the motorist that got out of his car, these disorderly types are considered top Flag trained Scientologists by the church. Had these acts been done in front of a police officer or reported to police by an observer elsewhere, not just the guy that got out of his car to assault the Scientologist, but the Scientologists as well would have each gotten a summons for this type of conduct.
I did not make even one true friend at Flag in 3 years, because if I had I could not be writing this. My parents were getting older and I felt they needed me. So, I went home to Linden, New Jersey in 1989. Afterwards, I contacted all the churches I have donated money to in the past one by one, used up any remaining balances and asked not to be contacted by them again. When I called the NY FDN church, Raymond Baiardi got on the phone and said "Hi crazy!" and hung up. I called back and he said "Look, if this is about your declare or something why don't you just fuck off!" and hung up. When I phoned Flag to inquire about my account Kitti Georgius Kahn responded to my call and shouted into the phone that she doesn't work there anymore and hung up. I do not know how I got put through to her, because I did not ask for her, I asked for the Treasury office.
In 1993 I went to a Halloween parade in my town and then out to eat afterwards at a place near where I lived. At the place I went to eat a NY FDN staff member named Jennifer McDonald Cox came in and stood by the cash register line. She then came over to my table. I was surprised she remembered me at all. I had not seen her since 1978 when she was the nanny in the church nursery. Even then I only saw her 2 or 3 times including at a staff meeting once. She said she was still a Scientologist, and was training at the church in New York with her kids and her husband. She had an art store on the highway not too far from there and invited me to go see it and told me what she had for sale and she left.
I went to look for her store about a week later and found it. It was in a location you would not expect to find a business. All New York Scientologists worked there. Larry Broncato from the former Rower mission. Susan Cox Mongiovi (a NY FDN student who was also Jennifer's sister in-law) because her brother Larry Cox (who also worked there) was Jennifer's husband. There was a lot of Scientologist traffic in and out of that location and it was listed in the phone book under all different kinds of names such as:
The Profit Center
The Art and Picture Warehouse
The Discount Picture Warehouse, etc. etc.
I knew no one that knew including myself, that Scientologists worked in town for years. I felt like I was being spied on. I took it for granted that the whole business was not paying any taxes.
One day in the center of town, I bumped into a former NY FDN student that lived around the corner from the art store. He was still using drugs, drinking, smoking heavily and said he was thinking of killing himself. But, he was very sympathetic towards the church in New York. He said Anna Balash the EO was the last person he spoke to there. He didn't know the people at the art store were Scientologists until I told him, but said he had gone there and bought a picture from them once. I do not know where he is today.
I bought a picture of the New York skyline from Jennifer and when the clip on the back of the frame broke off I went to see her about getting it fixed. At the same time, I thought since she surprised me with how well she remembered me after so many years, maybe she can help me find out how much money is left on my account at the church. She was friendly up until I asked her this. Then she got nasty. She said she did not want to talk about it, and that if I did she was going to ask me to leave and not come back. I left.
Jennifer eventually turned the art store over to new owners and she became a director at OSA in New York (the church group that replaced the GO). There are dozens of videos online on YouTube that show Jennifer battling Scientology protesters at the church in New York as opposed to selling art goods under the table. She contacted the church in New York about me somewhere along the line, because in March of 1994 Raymond Baiardi called me out of the blue.
He asked me to come to the church to see him about my account on Sunday March 13 which is L. Ron Hubbard's birthday. I met him in his office around 3:30 p.m. on the second floor of the church. I asked about my account but now he said he did not "remember this cycle of action" any more because his "recall is not that good".
Then two guys came in the room. The first guy said "I think it is time for you to leave". I said "I am in the middle of discussing something with Raymond, and I will leave as soon as we are through". He yelled "No, you are going to leave NOW!" I started to walk to the door to leave and the guy was blocking it. He threw a manila folder he was holding in his hand to the floor and grabbed my jacket collar and leaped on me. I fell backwards into and smashed my head on a desk behind me. I landed on the floor and he placed his knee on my throat making breathing or speaking almost impossible and pinned my arms to the floor. The second guy sat on my legs to keep me held down. I saw church staff peeking in the doorway at me smiling while I was on the floor.
The church notified the police a maniac forced his way into their building and assaulted someone and was being detained by them until help arrived. Raymond Baiardi patrolled the window in the office for a few minutes and then told the guys to let me up. I got up and walked out of the building and the police were outside and asked to speak to me. After we spoke they went inside the church as I waited for them by their patrol car. Raymond was nowhere to be seen but 5 or 6 staff members surrounded the police talking to them all at once. The police came out and told me to go to a local emergency room to make sure I was OK and then file a complaint. After leaving the emergency room, I went to the Midtown North police precinct on West 54th Street in Manhattan, and spoke to 4 detectives for almost two hours.
I filed a criminal complaint against the church naming Raymond Baiardi as chief conspirator.
I was asked by the NYPD a few days later to go with them to the church and arrest Raymond Baiardi and/or the other two attackers if present. The detective told me I could meet them on a Sunday if that was more convenient due to the fact that I live in New Jersey. I told the detective I would rather not at all right now because of all the travel involved but that I would leave the complaint open for 1 year in case anything changed.
No one from the church ever followed up with the police on their report or filed a complaint on anyone anywhere stating that he or she was assaulted or injured that day, as reported to 911 that afternoon. Nor did anyone there go to a hospital for any kind of assault related injury.
The money I donated to the church will never be found because Raymond Baiardi used it for his own personal expenses. He still works at the church at this writing with his wife Maureen Baiardi (who is a treasurer and C/S). The two of them C/S unsuspecting people out of their life's savings.
Later this same year my father died on September 10, 1994.
In 2000, my sister Lorraine came home from school one day and said a Scientology mission opened one block from her school on Morris Avenue, in Elizabeth, NJ. Right around then, I saw a Scientology book called "Clear Body Clear Mind" on TV. It was $17.10 at Barnes and Nobles in Springfield, NJ. I went to the mission to see if I could get the book there instead of having to go all the way to Springfield. Bruce Dobin (OT 8, Class 6), was the mission holder. He was also a former NY FDN staff member I had seen around the church a few times and once at Flag but never had any contact with.
FLASHBACK: In 1984 I was eating in a diner in Elizabeth, NJ and a guy came in and sat in the seat next to me. I had seen this person before but I didn't know it yet and he knew I didn't know it yet. He nudged me with his arm and said "Hey buddy, ever consider going clear?" "Ever consider joining the Sea Org?" "Did you ever get a letter from the international ethics and justice chief?" "Do you know who L. Ron Hubbard's original student was?" Those were his exact words. I asked "Please? Could we not talk about Scientology"? He got up, shook his head at me and left. This diner is two blocks up the same street that Bruce Dobin opened a mission on 16 years later. At first, I didn't think anything of it. But then something in my head clicked. I realized that if Bruce Dobin was about 20 years younger, and about 80 lbs. lighter, that he would look just like the guy that came into the diner that day in 1984. It was him in fact. He knew in 1984 I would not recognize him as someone I had already seen at the church. And he knew in 2000 that I would not recognize him as the diner patron that sat next to me up the street in 1984. He knew only that I would recognize him as someone I might consider a friend and trust. So, he impersonated himself to me so that he could get away with being a Scientologist. At the mission he now introduced himself to me as if he had never met me before in his life.
I asked to buy this book and he said he didn't have a copy, but would order one for me for $35.00 and ship it to me when it came in. I said OK, paid him, got a receipt and left. I got home and my mother told me he had just called a few minutes before to ask her a lot of questions like "Whose phone number is this?" "How old is Lawrence?" "What is his address?" "Who else lives with you?" She said he told her he needed this information to ship my book to me.
Bruce called me two days later to say my book had not come in yet but that I was invited in the meantime to an open house party that he and his wife Sharyn Mason Dobin were having at the mission the upcoming Monday. I accepted and went and even got there early.
There was a Scientology video playing in the reception area and he asked me to watch it. I had already seen this video at the church but I didn't tell him that. So, I was reading something as I was listening to the video. He started shouting at me, that if I don't want to watch the video then get out because he doesn't need me there. The other people showed up after this and were all NY Scientologists except for 1 guy that was a new public person.
There was an OT 8 speaker, a Question & Answer session, Bruce spoke, coffee and Dunkin' Donuts were served and then the guests were asked to buy books and services. I don't recall anybody buying anything. Before I left, Bruce said to me he was going to Flag on the upcoming Friday for two weeks and he will talk to me about my book when he gets back in case I didn't receive it yet. It was difficult to understand him mentioning Flag to me because, if he and I had just met like he acted and claimed, why would he think I would know anything about Flag in Clearwater, Florida? He went to Flag to check in with Kitti Georgius Kahn maybe?
I called him about two weeks after that (3 weeks after I had ordered the book) and he said the book had not come in yet.
One week later Bruce called at about 10:30 p.m. when I was on the front porch talking to my sister Lorraine. He said my book had not come in yet. He also said I was no longer welcome at the mission. I was not allowed to call there. I was not allowed to engage in communication with anyone there about my book or anything else and I was not allowed to show up there in person. He said, that if I did any of these things the police would be called. He added that the church in New York had given him some information about me and that he had been meaning to tell me this himself anyway for a while. He then just hung up.
I called the next week twice to ask about my book. I left a message on the answering machine as no one ever answered the phone there when I called or returned my messages.
Finally, I called Bridge Publications in Los Angeles (a Sea Org staffed organization that sells the church's books). I complained it was taking almost six weeks to get one copy of a book from a mission in Elizabeth, NJ. I offered to send them a copy of my book purchase receipt as proof but was told that was not necessary. They apologized for the problem and sent me a copy of the book I ordered from the mission. It arrived three days later from Los Angeles.
The next week Bruce sent me a package with a letter attached to it. The package contained the book I had ordered from him. The letter stated again that I was "no longer welcome at the mission" and I was "not to call there again or show up there for any reason". He wrote the not being welcome part twice in the letter. The second time it was written in all big capital letters underlined in the center of the page. He further wrote, that when my "free book arrives from Bridge" I am to "return it" to him in the mail at my own expense at the address of the mission because I am not "entitled to it".
I eventually donated both copies to the Linden, NJ Public Library. I went to the library at a later date and asked the librarian why I did not see the books I donated on the shelves anywhere. She said the library no longer accepts book donations and that they were most likely thrown away.
In 2002, I began sharing my experiences in Scientology with other people online. Mainly, interested parties and people that had similar and worse experiences with the church. It inspired me to publish a web site about the church anyone could visit to learn about these things anytime they wanted. I kept the web site up for 6 years. I decided to send a printed manuscript of my detailed Scientology journey to select law enforcement officials that deal in such matters. The responses I got from others on the internet and law enforcement were all concerned and positive. In complete fairness, I sent the same information to the church to verify for law enforcement that there really was someone at the church after all that was qualified to address these issues (being that the church is the entity that caused any such issues in the first place).
On Sunday February 9, 2003 the church responded.
I was home still in my pajamas and the doorbell rang. I looked through the door peek hole to see Bruce Dobin and a Scientologist named Dominic Sarlo standing on my porch. I went to the kitchen and called the police. Both of them started pounding on the door and kicking it. I called the police a second time and held the phone up in the air so the officer on the other end could hear the commotion. The Scientologists were banging on windows, tapping on the windows with keys, going in the mailboxes, ringing mine and my neighbor's doorbells, yelling for me to come out, shouting my name, for a full 10 minutes.
The police were late in coming due to a traffic accident on the highway but when they arrived I told the officer that Bruce was a Scientologist from the next town and all about the things that had just happened before they got there. I said that I did not even know who the other guy was that was with him. The officer wrote a report on both of them and warned them to leave and not come back.
I decided to file a complaint and took Bruce to court in April 2003. He showed up with Dominic Sarlo and some man in a pin striped suit. Bruce did not have any proof that anyone anywhere ever told him to contact me about anything. So, after the letter that he sent me and the phone call that he made to me, what was he doing at my house? He could not answer other than to say that he had received data from a continental Scientology organization that said Lawrence had placed a large amount of information about his church on the internet. I made him sign an agreement, that if he ever bothers me again this matter will go forward to a criminal prosecution. He agreed, signed it and I never saw him again. That court order is still in force and active unless I ask for it to be dismissed which I have no intention of ever doing.
Bruce paid all of the mission's expenses out of his own pocket right down to its utility bills the whole time it was open. The mission even moved to a new larger location nearby that was next to an International House of Pancakes that was owned by two Scientologists (Michele Kenny and Jody DeSena). Bruce and the International House of Pancakes owner's were granted permission by the city of Elizabeth to name a small piece of land L. Ron Hubbard Park. It is the size of a 10-car parking lot covered with grass in front of a low-income apartment complex with no fence. Written in small writing on the face of a 12-foot-tall clock that is owned by the city are the words "In Honor of L. Ron Hubbard".
I recall seeing the Church of Scientology's finance police (Men in Black) in front of the mission one afternoon when I went past on my bike. I heard later they smashed Bruce's head into metal filing cabinets before they stripped him of his mission holder status. I wasn't there. I read the finance police charge about $10,000.00 or more per day per visit and the length of their visit is based on their observations and findings.
The Elizabeth, NJ mission was closed in 2005. After it closed the Scientologists that owned the International House of Pancakes waited a few years and then they left too.
There are other things that took place between Scientology and I just as negative that I could write about. But I think this gives a pretty good idea of the kind of activity one can expect to encounter in a Scientology organization anywhere in the world.
I took down my web site in 2010.
My mother died in 2014.
My sister Lorraine is confined to a nursing home since 2015.
My brother Thomas and my sister Helen moved away so, I never hear from them. They are like the Flag Service Consultant in New York that said when I first met her: "Look. I'm really busy and I don't have time for this, OK?"
I was interested in Scientology because I wanted to better myself and the world around me, or at least try.
A former Scientologist named Jefferson Hawkins wrote a book called "Counterfeit Dreams". That title best describes the actual nature of a Church of Scientology promise made to anyone.
I am not disappointed in myself because, as an individual I will have this information forever to aid in causing history to not repeat itself.
Lawrence Toomajan June 2017, The Diary of a Scientologist Part 1: The Diary of a Scientologist Part 2:
Professional auditing in any place on the planet Auditor class X, skype: timecops
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